Sir,

I am writing to you desperate for help.

The problem, you see, is with my house-mate, I'll call him Mr. Zingholer.

Mr. Zingholer is so completely obsessive compulsive that he threw a fit this morning because I forgot to vacuum the ceiling in the bathroom. He once bought a special hair brush, "to get the carpet looking just right". He will typically wash clothing even if it hasn't been worn, because "it sat around too long." If I'm drinking out of a cup and set it down and leave the room, he's picked it up, dumped it out, and washed it before I can get back to it.

Normally, it's not a bad thing to live with a neat person, in fact it would be quite refreshing if it wasn't paired with wild-eyed, maniacal, cultish obsession.

He also eats a tremendous amount of asparagus because, he says, "I enjoy how it makes my urine smell."

Other than that, it's a pleasure living with him. Also know that I'm not afraid for my safety in the least. He is a sad, weak, little man.

My questions:

Does he need to seek special help for his issues? Can someone as OCD as Mr. Zingholer even be treated?  Is his lust for foul smelling urine indicative of some deeper, more dangerous, psychological issues?

Any help would be greatly appreciated,

Anonymous in Olympia

Anon-
From your description, it is certainly possible that Mr. Zingholer suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), but a thorough examination would be necessary for proper diagnosis. The obsessions and compulsions of OCD stem from extreme anxiety and can manifest in an astounding assortment of symptoms. For instance, many sufferers are not neat at all. Some are downright messy, particularly if their symptoms include hoarding, the acquisition of, and failure to use or discard, such a large number of seemingly useless possessions that it causes massive debilitating clutter.

Perhaps you can observe your house-mate further to determine if he is actually afflicted with OCD, the obsessions of which will generally fall into one of two categories: inappropriate aggressive thoughts--including blasphemous thoughts, if the sufferer is religious--or inappropriate sexual thoughts. Of course, some mixture of the two is not unheard of, and the appropriateness of a thought is subjective, but is considered inappropriate by the sufferer. I have witnessed this myself on more than one occasion. One of my flat-mates in college was known to shout at inappropriate times, "Fuck you, God! Literally! I will fuck you up! Up the ASS! With my DICK!" These outbursts sometimes occurred during lectures or seminars and, although he was an otherwise model student, eventually resulted in his expulsion, poor lad. But I digress. While observing Mr. Zingholer, ask yourself if he suffers from aggressive or sexual obsession.

The compulsions of OCD are typically a means of combating the sufferer's obsessions, or of combating anxiety in general. That is to say, most sufferers are well aware that their actions are irrational, but they feel bound to comply with the "rules" of their compulsion/obsession to mitigate their stress. These rules may be as simple as, "never sleep facing the opening of a pillow cover," or they may be complex rituals that consume a great deal of time. Consider the following paragraph that opens Harold Contay's 1829 paper Meloncholia:

I was compelled at all times of day and night to ensure proper positioning of my member, and I would become greatly distressed should its orientation exceed forty-five degrees in the northward latitudinal. I was generally able to prevent such orientation by a clever use of twine about the thigh, but even then I was afflicted by the occasional unanticipated nocturnal penile tumescence which would slip the bonds. In such an instance I would be further compelled to undo my miniature bonds of twine and burn them at the hearth before preparing a new set of twine, of a different colour, to be used in fastening my member in the upright position until the tumescence had passed, at which time I would again burn the twine and retrieve a new length of the original color.

I know what you are thinking. "What man hasn't tied his penis to his thigh?" I happen to know that many gentlemen refrain from such practice, despite its obvious usefulness in preventing embarrassing situations while visiting the local gymnasium. And now you are thinking, "You still haven't answered any of my questions!" And you are correct. Does Mr. Zingholer need to seek professional assistance? Only if his behaviour is interfering too badly with his life, his work, or his relationships. Can he be helped at all? Yes, there are many fine treatments available, although a great part of the treatment simply involves exerting one's will against the compulsive behaviour. And what of this vegetable-urine complex? This sort of thing may be a byproduct of a cognitive condition like OCD, or it may be an exotic fetish. If you really want to know which it is, why not purchase some "veggi-pron" and leave it lying about the house. Then observe. Alternatively, get him to go shopping with you and see if he spends more time in the produce department than anywhere else in the store. These may be indicators that he has a fetish rather than an OCD related symptom.

As always, I hope I have been of some small help. Please do drop me a line at mollygrubs@gmail.com and I will be happy to address your concerns.