The day has been fulfilling, if somewhat protracted. My forced participation in the Sudden Death Parcheesi Tournament led circuitously to my discovery of a new form of insult. Or rather, the discovery of a particular genre of insult of which I had been previously unaware. After the wild boar fight in round three of the tournament, the survivors began discussing the fastest way to take down a Komodo Dragon, which led to a discussion of the variety and severity of insults (this was a natural progression, Komodos having the filthiest mouths in the known universe). Eventually, one contestant described the indefatigable folk at insults.net, who divide their insults into some unusual categories, including "chatup lines". In this case, the insult is crafted as a direct response to a supposedly witty pickup line. If you find that you are often hit upon, and you would like to make a bit of sport from it, this is an excellent option. Here are the examples I most cherished.

Hey babe. I've got a condom with your name on it.
You must be mistaken. My name's not Durex Extra Small.

Girl, you've turned my floppy disk into a hard drive.
Sorry, I don't date men with tiny peripherals.

What would you say to a little fuck?
Leave me alone, little fuck.

You'd probably regret it in the morning if we slept together, so how about we sleep together in the afternoon?
Your approach wasn't bad, but I'd rather see your departure.

I want to be really dirty with you.
You smell as if you already are.

I want to fuck you over and over again.
I want to fuck you over.

If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
If I could see you naked, I'd die.

Can I be your love slave?
Well I certainly wouldn't pay you.

If you do decide to patronize their site, be sure to investigate the random insult generator, which assures me I am an "anarchistic four-eyed sperm-bank". Sadly, this did not help me win at Parcheesi, but I am grateful to be alive.